Ôîðóì » Ðåàëüíîå âðåìÿ » Try is the first step to fall. (Ïîïûòêà - ïåðâûé øàã ê ïðîâàëó) » Îòâåòèòü
Try is the first step to fall. (Ïîïûòêà - ïåðâûé øàã ê ïðîâàëó)
Star Dust: Players (Ó÷àñòíèêè): Wander Caoke & Star Dust. Place (Ìåñòî äåéñòâèÿ): The roof of New-York's skyscraper. Time (Âðåìÿ äåéñòâèÿ): Deep night. About 1 p.m. Weather (Ïîãîäà): Overcast. Heavy clouds own the sky. Cold wind is blowing hard and furiosly.
Îòâåòîâ - 16
Star Dust: Pain. It hurts furiously. It puts your mind into darkness with clear intentions to never bring it back. I knew it. I felt it. Almost every day while these clouds were having fun in the sky, hiding my silver heroin from me. I was already desperate to find the way out of everyday pain. This time my tries have brought me at the dark streets of New-York. I was alone, in private with the pain inside my chest. -Hey, baby. Where do you think you're going? - suddenly out of nowhere the man's voice came. Someone started to laugh behind my back. I turned around to face four men smiling in my face. Perfect. -None of your business, - my answer was rude and short. My face was filled with anger and fear. I wish that I could tear them apart but I couldn't if only I was a masochist... -Don't be so obstinate, honey, - said the man and then for mine horror he moved right next to me. This reminded me of something. My mind came back for four years ago, the day when my abilities woke up. Déjà Vue. And not the most pleasant... -Stay away from me, you filthy pig! - my scream was left without attention. I felt desperate. This time the crime upon me will be made, I understood that clearly. The destiny never leaves someone with luck for too long. The man slapped me in the face when I made my way to escape, and then pushed me to himself almost gently. I started to resist but without the moonlight I was too weak. -Let go, you! - I screamed trying to push him away from me. It didn't work. Other guys were getting close to me, standing right next to their pal. That's it... My life is over...
Wander Caoke: Life. Life is nothing but a lost higway on which you must keep going until your days will come to the end. Yep, to the dead end, right until there will be no one who could help you in finding your right road again. To make a right turn on the crossroad you had come. John walked alone in the dark streets of New-york city, which became a quite close town to him since he first arrived here. He thought that never learns all bus destinations and the names of the streets of this big and crazy urban jungle, but now the comprehension of these things has no meaning anymore. This time destination was anywhere... or better yet, nowhere... 'I'm caught under a wheels' roll...,' he thought, whispering these words into darkness and brushing away a lock of wet hair from his face. Cold rain was walking around here some time ago and the night was freezy-scoldy enought to force to start thinking about a cup of hot tea. Slippery streets had their own rights and rules, but now all this was meaning completely nothing to a winged young guy. Raven just wanted to stay alone with himself... the last couple of days were hard enought and very exhaust to him. So he is not pretending to be a very happy and kind guy right on this moment. Also he had some not very happy meeting with one old 'friend' a couple of minutes ago, and this fact also didn't give any plus to his mood and health. He felt like he is already dead and now just walking his last minutes, taking last breaths... John non-reliazing liked these places because of their quietness and emptyness - fellow even wasn't looking forward random people who could see him here; they usualy afraid of him, if they suddenly notice that this 'stranger' has a real wings. If before that accident he could hid his real face, now he can't. And that's annoying... Raven thought that he is the only one who came here in so late hour, but that was wrong. Suddenly in some far from here he heard a scream. A scream of a woman, and even after so long time voice sounded terribly familliar... From a calm and tired walk, he went into run. 'If some young girl got in trouble over here... it's really dangerous situation for her,' he fearly thought. 'After all, it's New-York and the middle of the night!' After a couple of turns in one narrow alley John found the victim in the company of a six not very kind guys. And the victim was... 'Nickie!' he shockfully exclaimed. 'And who're you, kid?,' one man asked, laughting. 'You 'now her? Well, that's even bettah...' 'Let her off,' said John with an emotionless and firm voice. 'Now.' 'Hey, you 'now who ya are, kid?,' said second man. 'Ya must be kiddn'...' 'Guys, it will be da best eve on this week...,' laughted third one. He looked just like he was drunk in junk. So were others... 'I'm kidding?,' asked John in a flashing anger and with no fear of these idiots. He has sharply straightened his dark-colored wide wings, and they has taken almost all free space in alley from one wall to another. 'No jokes needed.' Iren was completely sure that if they'll atack all in the same time, he will not be able to fight them. But if he'll show that, now it will have the same meaning as you just say 'hello' to your death... He couldn't risk with her so hard. 'He's a... a mutant! Mutant!,' with hatred and fear loudly said someone of them, others were shocked and were quietly whispering something. The one who holded Star Dust released her with some rude in his acts, not so cautiously as John actually wanted. 'Freak!' 'Yes, I'm a freak. A very dangerous and angry monster,' he annoyingly hissed and made a grin. 'So what? Run, run just like many others before - only because I'm different. Or I'll seriously do something with all of you. I can. I really can.' Raven smiled with a very promising smile. 'Freak...' one of them said with disgust. And he got a knife like from nowhere. What a deal!.. But other man had a gun, and that was a real problem. And he was aiming right in John's head. All happened very fast. Shot, flash of dazzling light, the scream of many voices... 'I told ya,' Raven 'kindly' laughed, twirling bad man's gun in his hand. Now he was staying lean to wall from other side and very close to them. 'Don't mess with freaks.' He stopped twirling the gun and aimed right on one of them. 'Just go away.' he made a step forward. 'Don't touch her, and I'll let you go. Otherwise... otherwise I'll show you what else some freaks can do.' No one moved. 'Wanna check thah out?,' asked Wanderer. 'Go!' They looked angry and ruthless, but they went away without a serious fight. John has wearily exhaled and thew away the weapon which he hated so much. 'Are you alright, Nickie?'
Star Dust: That was it. I knew that I was going to die anyway because even if I survive after this I will commit suicide. I won’t be able to live knowing that once six men in a dirty back street were throwing themselves upon my defenseless body. During these seconds I was thinking about many things. My mind was far far away this empty street. I was in the school. I saw my second father’s face and Xavier was smiling to me as he always did. Then I saw Maxima… I still loved him but I understood that I’ve got to move on although it was hard to do. We will never be together again. Those ten minutes were worthy of half a year of pain and suffering because it was the happiest and unforgettable ten minutes in my whole life… Then I remembered John. He was my only friend from the team after I left. I haven’t seen him since Japan. And I will never see him again because of my own stupidity. I have lost another man in my miserable life. But maybe it’s all for the best? Maybe I am supposed to die? Maybe it will be easier not to exist… Perhaps I will meet Maxima behind the line… I already saw it: him and me together. Finally without the fire around us, without the fallen Tokyo behind his back. And this time he won’t disappear. Yeah, death is peaceful. Life is harder. But I was alive yet. And before I’ll go into the world of lace and freedom I will have to sacrifice and suffer a little more. It was reality. And it was trying to take my pants off. I pushed a man away again. It didn’t work but I haven’t stop trying. I was desperate to resist I did not want this, not in this way. Their stinky breath in my face, their disgusting laugh in my ears, their dirty fingers around my waist… -Let her off! No way! I must be dreaming! It can’t be him. It’s impossible. I was sure that my luck has turned away from me. Seems like I was wrong… My prisoners turned back to see the owner of the voice. The first hearing did not deceive me. It really was John Iren. It was him. One of the gues took the gun out. I was shocked: all this time he had a gun! Lucky Nickie. I immediately imagined myself: pale-white, lying in the coffin and the priest saying: “She died because of a bullet in her stomach…” Beautiful. All attention was now upon Raven. I couldn’t say a word I was too scared and lost. Everything happened so fast… I missed the moment when Iren easily took away the gun. All I heard was a clear shoot. I screamed, my hands automatically raised to cover my ears but two of six bandits were still holding me. They were all looking at John now. Their eyes running from the gun in Iren’s hand to the wings behind his back. He made one threatening step to them. His warning scared even me although I knew him well enough. The bandits left and as they did I felt on the ground. My body seemed so weak that I couldn’t stand on my feet anymore. John rushed to me. His face turned from angry and wild to worried and soft. -Are you allright, Nickie? – he asked. I nodded with a completely different feeling. I was far from “all right”. The pain came back in a double volume. Like before wasn’t enough? My chest was burning inside. It hurted so much that I couldn’t stop myself from quite moan felt off my lips. My hand was on my chest as if trying to calm the fire inside my body. I opened my eyes to face John’s worried look. Of course he was scared: he didn’t know what’s happening to me. Those wings were still behind his back. A selfish idea came to my mind. I decided to hint him about it: -John, - I groaned a little louder this time. Why it is so painful?! – Please, take me … somewhere. Anywhere. Find a place where the moonlight is not kept with the clouds. I will explain everything there. As I asked, I looked in his face. I could swear he was shocked. Well, for reason…
Wander Caoke: She was scared. John even didn't want to think about what really could happen, if he wasn't here right in time. Or if not directly he, then someone else who could help... Or, otherwise, it could be a very deadly unluck for her... Iren hasn't saw Nickie since they separated after return from Japan. Each of them decided walk with their own ways... but if John could be easily found at Xavier's school, then about Nickie and where she is in real moment knew one-only Nickie by herself. It seems like she haven't changed since their last meeting. After the girl nodded in answer on his question, John frowned and looked on her in a real unsure. She's completely not looking like she is all alright. It seems like she just don't want to say opposite things. But after this... it's not a big surprise that Star is still in fear and shock. She just need some time to calm down... 'Have they did something to you?' Raven asked in worries about the one of the real friends he ever had. Before this time he saw Nickie only once, but that moment said much enought about her. John sat down on his knees near to her and put his hand on her shoulder, kindly looked in her eyes and poorly smiled. 'Hey... nothing bad will happen now. I promise. They're away...' '...At least, I hope that they will not return...,' he thought. 'John,' she groaned a little louder this time. 'Please, take me... somewhere. Anywhere. Find a place where the moonlight is not kept with the clouds. I will explain everything there.' Iren stared on her with big and quite surprised eyes, but agreed. 'Ehh... o'kay.' fellow replied, and in thinking turned his head aside to see what else is in here. And where they are at all. Decision came fast and was a bit silly, but now it was the best and almost the only one way that they had. If only he'll has enought strenght for this... 'Hold on, Nickie.' John carefully took her on his arms and rose up. Left arm worked not so well as it should be, but Iren tried to ignore all the pain he felt and showed only poorly painful grin. Man shooted once, but anyway trapped right in his shoulder when Raven tried to leave from under a sight. Well, this is not the first time for him, and now, in this darkness, when he also wore dark-blue colored shirt, it was very easy to hid a bleeding wound. At least untill they will get where he wanted to bring her, on a lighter space... He spread his wings and with several strong waves got in the sky, to meet the cold, completely not summer-like wind with his face. John haven't flied far away from the alley where he find Star, and leaved her on the first hight skyscraper's roof that got in the area of his sight. Fellow could do nothing with the clouds, so all that was left to both of them is to wait 'till the sky gets at least a little cleaner. He wasn't understanding what is happening with Nick, but he felt her pain as his own because of his emphaty, and that was 'kinda' very scary sense: when you know that there's something wrong, but don't know how to help. Because of that things ony getting worse and worse, so feelings are... And that's together with his own pain... Sometimes he hates this part of his abilities... 'I hope that this is it...,' John said, and carefully took her arm because of wanting to help at least with something. He got an idea. 'So what truly happened with you before I came there?' He could heal her a little even thought he don't has so much strenght now, but only if he knows what directly is happening with her. Without knowing that the only thing he could do is to give her some part of his own powers. Maybe that makes her feel a little better. But as about him... John always had a bad habit not to think about himself until things gets really bad, if there is something much more serious than his problems. Now he could stand as he is. Anyway, he can do nothing with his wound while bullet is staying in it. Not even stop the blood. Now he just tried to behave as always, like all is o'kay with him. Somehow it was true... but mostly not.
Star Dust: -Have they did something to you? - he said in a worried voice - Hey... nothing bad will happen now. I promise. They're away... I am not really sure about what is worse to be killed by a group of bandits or to die because of your own abilities. Sometimes I thought that there is an Evil Rock upon me: so many cases when I eas supposed to die and still look at me. Alive like Frankenstein’s monster. -Ehh... o'kay. - he replied to my request. I saw his embarrassment and I was extremely grateful because he didn't ask for an explanation. Thank you, Iren! It darkens in my eyes or getting lighter. I saw nothing except my own pain. It didn't sound like me: usually I'm much more observant and less weak. But it was about my dust and it was a part of me. My powers are hard to explain. Through the veil of darkness I felt someone taking me away. Then the flight overcomes the power of Earth's gravitation. I did not feel the cold wind. Excruciating flame of my skin was much more powerful than freeze. The flight stopped but not the wind. I lied on something hard and flat like a stone. I tried not to move not to make a sound because if I did it I would not be able to save the scream of pain inside my lungs. -I hope that this is it... - John took my powerless hand. In comparison with mine burning skin his seemed cool - So what truly happened with you before I came there? I could not listen to this. Poor Iren... He doesn't even know what's wrong with me. Flash of moonlight... I beg for it! Just a small flash of moonlight! And suddenly it came to me. I felt familiar warmth coming through all my disfigured body. YES! My skin began to shine, I turned. Now I was lying on the back, my eyes still closed, and my lips in satisfacted smile. My silver heroin... I opened my eyes. My look has rest into the sky where clouds were too rare and flying too quick to be an obstacle. I lied in silence about two minutes allowing my powers to rebuild. The fire began to settle down... -It's all right now, - my voice was quiet but not weak anymore. My powers were coming back with a double speed - It’s just that I cannot live for too long without moonlight. You saw my powers, right? I call it star dust but it's not really star. Those little particles you saw before are all inside me. When I don't get a charge from the moon they start to destroy me. First it's like a fire inside my chest, - I touched it with a free hand, still looking in the sky - But it can get worse. Once I almost died because of inside bleeding... Why am I saying all this? How does it sound? He will think that I'm a psychic... Doesn't matter. He saved me. He deserves the true. I finally turned to him and found a power to smile with a grateful friendly smile: almost first time since we separated. But it didn't last long: I got serious as soon as I saw his face. Pale-white. Then my look felt on his arm. Oh my God! He's bleeding! -John! - I sighed completely shocked. And he kept silent all this time? -You are an idiot, Iren, - that's all that I could say. My voice sounded angry. I was mad at him because I worried about him. All right, let's face it, I liked him. Such a feeling was strange for me. -Let me see, - I said gently touching his shoulder. Yeah, his wound looked awful and was bleeding. I remembered a loud shot. All because of me... -There is a bullet in there. We need to take it out. Would you stay still? - I asked. Moon was shining in my back; its light was making me stronger every minute. I could use my power for this little task as well. It will not hurt me now when I'm under the moon's protection. I concentrated. A small shadow of shining particles immediately came out of my palm. I saw John's skin through them. It was a familiar feeling. Heeling warmth didn't left my body because of the bright moonlight. Particles on the molecular level came into the wound. I saw metal of the bullet as if I was the same size as my particles. They began to destroy metal’s connections very fast: as soon as they'll get out of Iren is better. Each of my particles got the molecule of iron and came out to me. The shine of dust was not so bright this time. I let the metal go and the particles to come back inside my body. That was it. I looked on the wound, asking: -How do you feel?
Wander Caoke: Cold night air was invigorating enought to help in this not very easy task - to forget about the feelings which started to take control on his mind and slowly showing the rules of this unfair game. John could suffer the pain he was feeling all this time as long as it was needed, but he couldn't prevent a lost of blood. But that was just a silly joke if you take in an attention Nickie's condition. While he flied around bouildings he felt like she in any moment can lose her faint. Iren was scared that it's really something serious and dangerous, but just didn't know what he can undertake in a situation like this. It's left only to do what she said, even if she asks about a completely weird things. But Star was keeping on queting and this just can't be good. Now she was laying on a lifeless roof's covering which still wasn't very dry after raining, but John could not hold her anymore with and because of a hurted arm even if he really wanted. He was just afraid to casually drop her when she already was bad enought... and there's no reason to cover her with blood. John threw a look on his arm and now was quite surprised to see a little dark-red streamlets which were running from a shooted shoulder to an elbow and further to a wrist. He brought his right hand to the wound and carefully shifted a collar of his shirt, to look at it more attentively and, maybe, get rid of it. But it looks like the bullet has not passed through, and if he'll leave it there and heal the wound now... it can cause very serious problems later. John was understanding that he can't get it out with bare hands: magic and telecinetic powers are different things. And even without a touch shoulder aches like in Hell. Situation was worse than he thought in the start... 'Damned...' 'Nickie?,' Iren called, when after some time still haven't got any answer or at least some weak reaction on his words. Sitting down near to Nick and looking on her unconscious face, he nervously pulled his wings. He knew that she's still 'here', but... even when the moonlight came out, almost nothing in her condition changed. If only except the fact that the girl weakly started to glow with silver. 'Ga-ah.. please, just don't joke with me like that...,' he murmured in a quiet and a bit unhappy voice. 'Great... and what I supposed to do now?' Looks like, just wait... She opened her eyes and next several minutes was just looking at the sky. Wanderer wanted to ask her something, but decided not to ruin this silence until she speaks with him first. He felt that her pain is slowly going away and she's getting better, but he still couldn't get rid of all his worries. Such a weird and nervous day... or better yet, night... Nick started to talk, and her voice wasn't weak anymore. The explanation she gave did make sense on many things he thought about already in Japan, when he first normally saw her powers. And he didn't think that she is a psychic or someone like that. She just has a very selfish and original abilities... his own powers was also not so easy to explain. Not always they're giving only andvantage over a normal people. And Iren also learned this lesson as well. She turned her eyes to him and smiled; John had only a second to smile in answer, before he'll finally get a deserved blow to the head. He was sure that he'll get it. 'John!,' she sighed completely shocked, and after then couldn't find any words for some moment. 'You are an idiot, Iren.' The ascertaining of this fact sounded with a real anger. John waited for something like this since last ten minutes when he started to understand how he looks like, but never could thought about that she can frighten him with a similar reaction. Suddenly he felt like he was a little pressed down in sizes, also because he had completely nothing to say. But Nick very soon calmed down and it seems like even changed her anger into worries, but it really wasn't a situation when they could waste time on a things like this. 'Let me see,' she said, gently touching his shoulder. John involuntarily moved; anyway it was painful, and he just didn't want to show his wound to her. It was his own problem and he didn't want to shear it with someone, even with Nickie, but now he has had no choice. So John haven't tried to escape her attention somehow and tried to stay still while she was doing her little survey. 'There is a bullet in there. We need to take it out. Would you stay still?,' she asked, and Iren quietly whispered something like 'I'll try' in reply. He had no idea how Nickie's going to do what she said, but he got an answer on this question very soon. Star's dust came into the wound and began to do something with metall that stuck in it. Raven couldn't say that painfully-burning feelings, caused by her particles, were such a nice thing, and involuntarily has gritted his teeth in suffer. All ended up as soon and unexpected as it started. Seeing off girl's particles, he sighed with a simplification. Something has really changed in a better way. 'How do you feel?' she asked. 'Alive...' John replied and smiled. 'Thank you, Nickie.' Iren brought his right hand to the wound and carefully put a palm on it. He closed his eyes and said something quite illegible. Fellow was weak and in any way couldn't compensate the lost of blood and strenght, but his power still was enought to stop the bleeding and cure the wound. When John took his hand off, the shoulder was completely healthy, if not take in attention all the bloody trails and a hole in the shirt. 'Now there's nothing to worry about...,' he said, smiling.
Star Dust: I could not keep my smile inside. “Alive” sounded good. -Thank you, Nickie. I lifted my hands. There is nothing to be grateful of! You just saved my life, John. I haven't forgot... - I said with a cunning smile. His face at this moment was showing every single emotion he felt. And now it reflected relief. I felt the same: both of us alive, but not both healthy. I will rebuild soon enough but not him. I need to help him, maybe to find a hospital which works at night. I looked around. We were at the roof of giant skyscraper and the only way to get down is to fly. I couldn’t allow him to fly again but the charge of my particles is not enough yet. Great! I am useless again! Does John have to sacrifice for me twice a night? And this is instead of cup of tea in the café where normal people meet after a long parting. But not me. No way! Nickie will better get into trouble to meet her old friend she missed so much. To my great sorrow, it sounded like me. While I was busy abusing myself Iren have been doing very weird things. He touched his wound and in a couple of seconds removed his hand from the bleeding shoulder. My mouth opened. I could have only guess how funny my expression was but I didn’t care. I reached out and touched his skin in a place where the wound was. The only thing that left was hardened blood. -I don’t really remember this side of your powers, – I said in emotionless tone. Why is it surprising me so much? We didn’t have a chance for a proper talk: I was too depressed after those events in Japan. I did not want to talk to anyone, not that I wanted before, but after I met Maxima I made myself to change the way I looked at some things. I was always alone, I never knew the meaning of the word “to take care”. Actually, I had and still have no one to take care of. The only man I cared had disappeared in time. -Now there's nothing to worry about... -Yeah... - I said feeling lost again – Are you still staying with Charles? – I asked suddenly. A strange interest about his life. I never interested in anyone before. All the people and mutants I met seemed boring and annoying to me. I was trying to keep a distance by being rude and unpleasant from the very beginning. The only person with whom such a policy hadn’t worked out was John Iren. And there he is: sitting in front of me. Just saved my life and hid from me that he’s wounded. I was still mad at him for this, but I would have done the same if I was him. That gives us so much in common. Doubtless, there was something to think about… -I don’t know how to thank you John… I cannot even imagine what could happened if you… if them… – I lost my breath. The second time in my life when such a danger was above me like a bloody guillotine. I calmed down again and suddenly asked in a very suspicious tone – And what was you’re doing there at the first place? That was all me. I didn’t want to say something like that to John but human’s habits is a powerful thing. Oh, common! Remember my family and be patient! My eyebrows met on the bridge of my nose as I looked at him. What was I doing? Can't I just thank him or give him a hug and get on with it? But I couldn't. I was born with this stupidity and I had no experience in building relationship with other people. Say thank you to my "beloved" daddy. Disgusting.
Wander Caoke: 'I just could not let them to do something with you, Nickie,' he replied in a serious voice. When he ran on the scream he didn't know who is the victim. It was an automatical reaction. 'No way.' Strange thing, but at the last time he often thought about where Nick is now and how she is doing. The answer on this questions came in unexpected and kinda shockful way. John remembered the girl with an aliase 'Star Dust' very well, and now she looked completely different than then. Now she looked much more friendlier than was before... Iren fhrowned a little. She's different in comparison with Nickie he first met. Not with the girl who leaved X-Team after they all returned from Japan. After what happened there... He wanted to ask about how she is now. Has she recovered morally or still not? Even if yes, John was deadly sure that meeting with Maxima will leave a deep scars on her heart and soul... and it'll stay with her if not forever, then much longer than some half of a year. All the time Nickie was thinking and looking around John haven't lowered from her his clear blue eyes. He knew what she's feeling and he easily could guess what she's thinking about. 'Nickie, seriously, don't worry about me, I'm fine,' John said in quiet giggling, when he saw her reaction on this mystical healing. She really was looking very funny at this moment. 'A little' shocked as he could say. 'I will get us down. It's not a problem for me. Now I just need some time to rest...' 'I don’t really remember this side of your powers,' she's emotionless voice quite surprised John who didn't wait for a question like that. Raven felt like he offened her with something. Now he was in doubts how to explanate it and what he should say at all. First meeting with Agatha... it wasn't such a secret, but he was almost sure that he don't have to talk about her very much with people who don't know this witch. And all this is when she also was the one of those who woke up his magical powers. 'You couldn't know about it,' John quietly replied after a little pause. 'It happened much later after we separated and it's a very long story... I'm still haven't got used to this side of me... but it looks like I am a magician. Hard was to predict a reaction on these words but it all was true. 'I can't do completely all with it's help... but sometimes magic is really useful,' he smiled. If he could with it's help erase all the pain, he would be really happy. But John was still studying how to control this power and many things were forbidden. There still was a limits. Now he easily got rid of the wound but the signs of it couldn't dissapear all at once and will stay next several days. Weak dull ache in shoulder still left even when there's no wound anymore. But anyway now state of health was much better than before. 'Are you still staying with Charles?,' she suddenly asked. 'Yes,' he replied and attentively looked on her. Why is she asking? Maybe this can mean that she want to return in the school? Maybe not, but... 'It would be great!..' Something has really changer in her. Hoping that in the better side... John didn't know the reasons of her rudeness and a sharp behaviour, but there definedly was something behind all this... there really were a reasons of why she is a lone wolfen... 'I don’t know how to thank you John... I cannot even imagine what could happened if you... if them...' 'You don't need to thank me, Nickie,' he kindly smiled. 'We're friends, right? Friends always helps each other... And 'they' now are in the past so you can forget this unpleasant accident and live further. You just need to be more careful at this time in the town if you walk alone...' '...And what was you’re doing there at the first place?' Nope. She hasn't changed. 'Well... that's a nice question,' he sadly laughted but soon became serious again. 'I was just walking around and trying to kill the time... nothing more. Luck.'
Star Dust: He’s fine! Yeah, of course! Then I’m a sheep! I felt like I wanted to punch him for being so courageous. He hasn’t change except for this new ability. -You couldn't know about it, - no doubts of it - It looks like I am a magician. My expression repeated: I again was sitting with an open mouth looking like a girl who was told that Santa doesn’t exist. He’s a magician! Oh my God! The World is getting crazy… So many questions came up to my mind that I didn’t know what to ask. Actually, the most important was about the weather. I blushed without a reason for him and with a valuable one for myself. I was selfish. I was thinking about myself again. I wanted to ask him if he could drive the clouds away … Such a thought was like a shot to me. I hated other people for this: for not having enough courage to sacrifice, to forget about themselves. And I treated myself in the same way, perhaps even harder, making no excuses for such a behavior. How could I dare to think of it? So, I kept silent and asked nothing more about his powers and his stories. I had a great experience of being apathetic but this time my curiosity was almost material, I could feel it harder than before. Some part of me desperately wanted to ask and ask, to listen to him, to find out something new about his life… But my pride made this part quite. I couldn’t allow myself to be interested even if I wanted to be. Yes, - he answered to my question without thinking. Of course, he does. I thought of Xavier: was he searching for me? I don't think so... My named father knew me too well. He knows the way I analyze things and he knows that I know what is better for me in a different situations. And I knew that I need to be alone… I also knew that nobody who knows me will not want to make me a company. I missed Charles. I missed the school… -We're friends, right? - what did he just said? What a weird word... I never had any friends but the way John said this it have sounded not so bad. His look was bright and honest, perhaps he really thinks of me as a friend - Friends always helps each other... And 'they' now are in the past so you can forget this unpleasant accident and live further. You just need to be more careful at this time in the town if you walk alone... Actually, those bandits was the last thing that I was thinking of. All my attention was now upon Raven, my strange wish to ask questions about his life came back. And then another thought crashed me: he thinks of me as a friend! That again destroys my policy, my saint reasons why I was so rude to everybody! I don’t want to get used to anyone or to feel any kind of sympathy. My way of living is too abusing for anyone but me and of course I had the fear that nobody would understand me. Does that mean that I have to make John mad of me? Make him hate me like everyone around? I looked in his face and my heart missed a bit. I won’t be able to do it. And suddenly my mood changed again: I felt angry at myself. What’s wrong with me? Nothing would happen if I make friends with somebody who saved my life. Stupid, stupid Nickie! He laughed at my suspicious question and I blushed again. -Luck… – I repeated. Yeah, it was a real luck that I met him. I didn’t know what to say. My mind came up to help and immediately gave a born to a thousand questions about Iren’s life before and after we first met. I could not hold myself any longer. It was hard to act denying my own life foundations but I did it. John, tell me about your childhood, – I almost demanded this. I heard how strange such a request sounded but I could do nothing about it. It was just me, my nature. I didn’t know how to ask properly so I asked straight and shocking.
Wander Caoke: John didn't know why he behaves like that. Maybe he just always was a simple guy he was looking like, maybe he just didn't want to show his weakness to someone else. Especially when this someone is a girl. He didn't wanted other people to worry about him. He just got used to be alone and to rely only on himself, even if from aside he really looked like a very friendly and sociable fellow. And even if he really needed a hand. Like it was several minutes ago... The second time when Nickie has stood with an open mouth only caused John to smile. He didn't want to laught of her or something like that when she already is so diffident and closed in herself. He knew very well what it is - not to believe in anyone. She looked just like that. He understood all what she's feeling and didn't want to harm her trust in people more than it already harmed is. Some time ago he felt completely the same... But what a weird reaction on a ordinary word... Raven really thought about her like she was his friend. The first one he met in this huge and selfish city. In the start Nick honestly was rude and Iren could not understand her. But in the end... he saw who she really was. And it changed everything. He tried not to face it, but he really was missing her all this time. He was worring about her. Even if for her loneliness was the best and only friend. 'Luck...,' she repeated. Her blusheness wasn't very appreciable in the dark. 'Call it karma, call it luck...,' he said a citation with some sadeness and smiled. Sad, that they met this way and not in a calm atmosphere. Not like he ever imagined this evening. At least now all was alright. Like it should be... or not? '...but I'm glad we met again...' He sighed and looked on the sky. It still was covered by clouds and the Moon from time to time was hiding behind them and then appearing again. New-York was a very good-lightened town and because of light pollution sky was a little colored in orange and yellow colors. Even on the roof of a hight skyscraper it seems that they couldn't see all the stars. Only the bright ones... 'John, tell me about your childhood,' she suddenly asked. John in unsure turned to her. He felt that she wanted to ask something, but didn't think that she'll ask such a thing. Iren never liked to tell about himself. Even throught that Raven with Drummer and Hellaves were good and enought close friends they didn't know very much about him and his past. So were many others... he was just trying to forget the most part of those memories... Not paying attention on the huge wings behind him John fell on his back and some time was just looking at the dark slowly-moving clouds. In silence. It wasn't so comfortable to lie on the wings, but now it had no matter. He got used to them long time ago. 'I can't tell that I had a very interesting life,' he whispered quietly, but in silence his voice sounded loud enought to be heard. 'But all long of it I was different in comparison with other kids. They didn't like me, many times I was betrayed. I also hated them and long time was living completely alone, if not take my parents in attention... I was closed in myself and quite selfish, and somewhere still am. But I can't abuse them, because it's also my own fault. Then I was a real, nervous rebel. As a music that this rebel was listening to.' he laughet. 'All my life I loved rock... It was like a freedom for me. Then I could say that it is my life. And still I am the same. I just spent almost all my childhood on studying to play guitar, piano... also on studying to draw. On many other things. Other young people from my town I knew could not understand all these interests. They thought that I am strange and even a bit crazy.' Iren deeply sighed and closed his eyes. 'There were many fights and disputes with that smart company. Later I met one guy who helped me after then a lot. Looks like he was the only one who always saw a human in me. Then... when I was fifteen, suddenly my mutant abilities woke up. And if before I could find a language with my own parents, after that stupid accident - no more. They just slowly started to hate me because of I was a mutant... I never thought about their relation to this picky social theme... but it was very negative. I started to be a superfluous freak even at home. In the same year I got in a car failure and had a serious problems with my health. But then... then I also first time heard what they really think about me. That was a dead line for my patience. When my condition got better, I just took my guitar and secretly left my family at the night. I made a step on a gypsy road that could take me home...' He poorly smiled. Further there in the lyrics was 'I drive all night just to see the light...' Well, if he wasn't driving, then he was walking. But that is not a such difference. Just a random song that he suddenly remembered. Old dreams... 'I thought that they will try to find me... I thought that they will be worried. But it looks like they wasn't. Someone was searching for me, but not very seriously. Just for the fact...' John opened his eyes. And again, there were only sad clouds above him. 'I don't want to tell you where and how I have spent next four years of my life. It was a check for survival. When I finally came to New-York from the state I left, I met Rain. I think you remember that coward guy who was with us in Japan. But he brought me to Charles... and I am grateful him for this. He gave to me a chance on a normal life when I was starting to think that there will be no chances anymore... before there was almost no luck... now I still am a rocker on the road who will never give up...' He smiled and kept on silence. So many times he was singing about that... but that's in the past. Now it's just like a positive motto, and not the only one. Iren was quieting some time in doubts. He wanted to ask her the same question, but it wasn't his strong side. Often he was just afraid to say so personal questions like this one was. John was just sure that it's not a very nice theme for Nick, something there was quite wrong... But anyway decided to ask. Curiosity is a powerful thing...
Star Dust: I lowered my breath trying not to destroy this moment with any stupid questions I wanted to ask. What the hell is going on with me? Why am I acting so strange? I always kept silent and now it’s like someone have destroyed an invisible dam: the words were tearing me apart. Be patient, Nickie! He led on the roof, carefully on his wings. Wait a second! As far as I can remember, he always could put those wings away. Why he won’t do it now? I had another thousand of questions on that theme but I made myself quite with a strong order of my will. I will ask them later. He began his tale. I listened very carefully, making my own notes in my mind. I knew people and mutants too well that’s why I didn’t want to cooperate with them. I needed just a small story from their past to understand everything that leaded them in a different moments. Mostly it was such repulsive things as lace, selfishness, cowardice… I hated this in people and mutants as well. But I never thought of Iren in that way… All right, maybe in the beginning! But after he jumped down from the plain to save me in Tokyo… Well, that explained to me a lot. And now I wanted more. It was the second time in my life when I found a really valuable character. And it was like a drug to me: I needed to find out more, to get every little detail about him, about his actions, about his history… And John’s story would be very helpful from such point of view… He began to speak and I crossed my legs, sitting near him, my grey eyes which now were supposed to shine like a moon, did not left his face. I listened to his story and with every new word my heart began to tremble. Oh my God! My guess was true – we really did have so much in common. That thought made me blush again and I begged that his eyes won’t open now. From difficult childhood his tale changed and I again felt worrying about him. He had too many unhappy minutes in his life. I wasn’t really surprised that after all of this he found a real home in Xavier’s school. It was also my home; I just was having a free walk for some time… And this sad fact about his parents… It painfully reminded me of John and Jessica. I suddenly felt an interest: where are they now? I hope that far away from me. I was still studying his expression when the same question came to me. I can’t say that I didn’t expect that but I felt uncomfortable anyway. I never told anyone about my life, perhaps because no one had ever asked me. Even Charles didn’t need to ask. I made a deep breath trying to remember my own feelings about my youth. I didn’t make any comments about his life although I wanted, but I decided that this can harm his feelings. He has already made a great step to me: his life was his private but he told me about it. It’s time to repay… -I was born in Canada, actually. In Toronto. My dad was too rich, my mom too selfish and pretty. My father was the head of the family cause he was earning money – I believe this logic was leading him in many things he did to me and mom, – I was still looking directly on John, but my mind was far away from the roof. Everything I felt was written on my face – anger, despair – all that was associating for me with my family – He never loved me and he never denied it. My dad wanted a son, not some stupid girl. During almost all my childhood I felt as a boy: short hair, male’s name as Nick, the way he dressed me… From the very beginning he made me independent from everyone but him, – my expression was full of pain and hateness. My memories were almost material – When I first came to school I was wild and unpractised in making relations with other people so I had no other idea as if to stay away from everyone and concentrate on my education. Very soon I became an exile to them… They tried to hurt me and succeed perfectly. That lasted until the high school when I became wiser and independent even from my dad. Everything changed then… – my face became emotionless, my voice – almost a whisper – I understood once and for all that nobody can be trusted. Since that day I could protect myself: sometimes with words and expressions, sometimes with my fist. But there is one nice rule: a number always defeats the quality. I got that on my own experience when my drank classmates tried to rape me, – I said this as if it was the most ordinary thing in the whole world, although my face was filled with pain – But they didn’t have a chance: my powers woke up at the very moment when my pants was almost off, – my voice rude and angry, very rude and very angry – But the help came too late and they made progress in harming me. I lied in the hospital for a month or so after this happened, missing the university… And even after when I came home my dad blamed me in all that happened, locked me up, promising that I will never have a chance to build a career. I spent a week getting used to my new abilities before I destroyed the wall in my room and flew away. It was the first time when I realized that my powers need a charge. I felt right from the sky to the lake on my way to New-York. I still cannot explain what was making me to move further. Only later Charles told me that it was him, – I shacked my head and smiled as if this part of my memoires was bringing me only happiness – I met him and joined X-Men denying my wishes of being alone. As you can understand even in the team mutants very soon became to hate me. Not in the way my classmates but still feelings were the same. The only one who truly felt of me as a nice person was Xavier. He replaced a father to me… – and I smiled again. My mind came back and my look was still on John’s face. -So you can see that I understand you perfectly. I do not try to be pleasant, John, I never did. But I cannot act rude if someone does not answer in the same way and you don’t. Can I ask you why? – I changed. As it always was happening my mood changed in the most unpredictable way. I almost hated John for this but I understood that hateness was not directly at him: it’s me I should hate. But what can I do? My words and expressions are not under my control when it comes to this: -Why don’t you hate me like everybody else? Haven’t I give enough reasons for this? I have many years of practice, I’m a perfect actress. You couldn’t know me, I never showed this to anyone! – I didn’t scream but it sounded like a scream of despair. I should be happy that he is my friend but I could not understand this and I was a little shocked of myself: I didn’t expect such a reaction. This really made me sound rude and unpleasant. I suddenly understood the reason… Oh, God! I subconsciously was trying to push him away even after I by myself told him everything. What’s wrong with me?! -I’m sorry… – I murmured – It’s just… It’s just that I cannot understand you. I got used to hateness… When you said “friend” I could hardly believe it. I never thought of myself as a friend to anyone, – what am I saying?! – And I can’t believe that someone as kind and noble as you can think of me that way, – oh, stup up, please! – Not that I need any proves: there were too many of them… – would you already shut up, Nickie? – And I’m mad at you because you unmask me so easily. But yet I’m scared and I still don’t know why am I saying all this, – I finished closing my eyes in sadness. My voice was becoming more and weaker while I kept saying all those private things of mine. How strange… I never felt as I can trust to anyone else but myself before. And now just Iren’s reaction could change everything in me. Weird…
Wander Caoke: Nickie was the first one for who John opened his heart and memory. Also because she was the first one who asked him about this so rectilinearly, without any silly hints on it. He never though that he had a completely bad life before he left his family. He had no normal friends, no company... and in the end just looked like he really don't need anybody. He thought that it's a destiny and did never beg for something better. Were times when he really hated to be alone. But after he got used to this feeling... He just lived. Iren just lived with music, with creativity... and needed nobody else except the only friend he ever had then, because no one else could understand him. But his parents really did cross the line... In the end of the speech about them his voice sounded with a real disappointment and insult. Still he was shocked about what happened then. He couldn't believe that his own family didn't think about him as a normal human. Like he wasn't his son anymore. Still it was painfully to remember them; it was quite strange and kinda not real to understand that their thoughts really changed in that way, maybe forever... they also were afraid... But not so far... He really missed them, and couldn't believe that they just so easily forgot about him. Sometimes he really thought about returning back, at home... but his pride always in a loud voice told directly opposite. He escaped from Hell and started his searching-like chase after a dreams... Raven felt that Nickie was looking at him all the time while he was talking, but didn't turn his look to her. He turned to her only when Star started her own tell... And now he was carefully studying an expression of her face. From the main start he understood at once one thing: it would be better if he'd stay in quiet. She was speaking with a sincere anger and despair of all the emotions she felt because of those memories. Memories that she realy hated... that brought her only pain and nothing more. He didn't move and did listen attentively. He just could not move. John was suspecting that she has something like that behind her, but now... now he was just in shock because of her hard past. Now there was no wonder of why she is so rude... she had a reasons. Honestly, Iren could easily discharge from his emphatic sense and not to feel all the sadeness and negativity but he haven't did that. He was sharing all her emotions because he has understood very well what it means for her. It wasn't any game... He was feeling sorry that he can't help her to erase all these scars... Nickie's questions and feelings after her tale were as a loud thunder after a bright lightning in the rain. Raven didn't wait for a reaction like that so all the surprise was just written on his face. If he didn't hear anything he could just take offence for such a mistrust. But Nickie... Nickie didn't has to said all that she said in the end. Now he could understad her without any words... 'You don't need to say any apologises, Nickie...' he quietly and sadly replied in whisper after some pause. 'It all wasn't your fault...' He rose up and sat near to her and some time was just looking further. 'You see... there is only one and very easy rule.' he said, very carefully searching the words. 'I have learned it on myself long time ago and now I can tell you with all the confidence that it never lies.' John sadly smiled and gently covered her with his warm wing. 'All people who behaves like they don't need anybody always has a reasons behind them to behave like that. Some of them are really serious in their minds, some of them - not... but it doesn't really matter. Reason is always. When I first saw you I couldn't really understand why you're so harmful, but it's not so easy to deceive me for a very long time.' he quietly giggled. 'I'm just too way sensitive and some kind of people I can see through... I just felt that you got used to be alone long time ago. People really hurted you very heavily... but not all of them are bad. Don't be afraid at least of me. Some years ago I felt the same Hell as you...' John lifted his sight from her to sky. 'There is a very kind song that I remember very often... in some way it very fits with my own character, but I want to say with it a little different thing... you'll understand.' Iren closed his eyes for a moment and warmly smiled again. 'Gosh, soon she'll hate me just because of my habits of a crazy musician...' 'Maybe you know it... but I'll anyway show it to you.' And he quietly started to sing. John had a little hoarse, but very clean and sonorous voice. Not all people, listening to his calm and quiet speech, could say that he can beautifully and loudly sing. But he liked to sing just as to play on guitar. 'Don't give up, it takes a while... I have seen this look before. And it's alright, you're not alone, if you don't love this anymore. I hear that you've slipped again, I'm here 'cause I know you'll need a friend. And you know that accidents can happen! And it's okay, we all fall off the wagon sometimes It's not your whole life, it's only one day! You haven't thrown everything away. Take some time and learn to breathe, and remember what it means. To feel alive, and to believe!, Something more than what you see! I know there's a price for this... But some things in life you must resist... And you know that accidents can happen! And it's okay, we all fall off the wagon sometimes It's not your whole life, it's only one day! You haven't thrown everything away. So don't give up It takes a while...'
Star Dust: Hateness. I hate everyone around, I hate every minute of my life, I hate myself. Is this the life a normal human should live? Well, not exactly a human, but a person? Can such a person survive in everyday hateness? I could, I did. While I was examining John’s face I didn’t think of hateness in the way I thought of it since I first understood it. I was six, when it happened. Now I’m twenty two. You can count by yourself how long I’ve lived in burning pain. But still I couldn’t kill people for hurting me. Hurt them back? Easily. But never far than that… I know, I’m a coward also because I cannot commit suicide. I thought of it many times in my life, but never had enough courage to do it. -It all wasn't your fault... -No, – I shacked my head in disagreement. Of course it was my fault. If only I wasn’t a coward I could have ended my life much more earlier and nobody else would be able to hurt me. “Can’t you understand John?” – I wanted to say – “I do not deserve to live. Not the way I do.” He sat near me and began to speak. I didn’t look at him anymore because I knew he was right. He saw the life, perhaps even in a more unhappy look as I did. His parents, pain, loneliness… I could only admire his ability to move on and just live. I couldn’t do it. I carried all of reluctant with me and it revealed as rudeness and inability to make friends or even love… Well, I don’t care. O! Did I mention pride and being a stubborn? I carefully listened to John. His words were making me calm. I couldn’t object him neither disagree. I felt calmness and composure. I liked it especially if to remember the fact that I have almost forgot those feelings during the years of hateness. He’s so… What was this word he just said? Yeah, sensitive. He really is sensitive and nice to me, and cute, and handsome, and patient and… Okay, stop it. What’s wrong with me again? When I’m near Raven I forget all my life rules! Interesting, what can that mean? I tried to listen to my feelings but understood nothing because I never felt this before. It was familiar but yet different from everything I ever felt. I felt his wing on my shoulder and gently touched one of feathers. Soft. The question about his wings came up to my mind again but I forgot it as soon as Iren continued, decided to ask it later. Second time a night. -I won’t… I mean, I’ll try, – I whispered at his ask not to be afraid of him. I was again ashamed of my baseless rudeness for him. A blush came up to my cheeks third or fourth time a night. I lost out of count… I was never very good in music also because of my dad. John thought of it as a hobby for a girl – without a reason, should be said! – and he was trying to make a boy out of me. So no music was allowed and it also was a reason for making fun of me in school. And later when I became older I just forgot about it. It seemed nothing to me. Now I could realize how much it was for Iren and I could respect it for him. I closed my eyes and listened to his wonderful voice and wonderful lyrics he has chosen. As I understood it a quite sign came down from my lips. I never heard the song before but I could feel the meaning of it as no one could except John. It sounded as a consolation from him to me. No one has ever done something like that for me before. No one has ever cared of me… I felt something warm and wet coming down from my eyes down to my cheeks and falling from my chin to my chest. What is it? I reached out and touched my cheekbone and then looked at my fingertips. Tears! I was crying! Gush, I haven’t cried since I was sixteen! As I continued to listen I couldn’t handle my emotions. I could not stop crying although I wanted to. I didn’t want John to feel pity about me. No! Please, can’t they just stop? But the tears were running from my eyes and were not intended to stop or listen to me. As if they had their own mind… I wanted to put them back, away and I wanted to hug John for his song and support so I did something between that and unexpected lied down on his knees. I stared at the sky trying not to look at John wondering about his reaction. The tears didn’t stop, now they were running down from the corners of my eyes. Beautiful. What could I say? Nothing, actually, because I haven’t completely made out everything in my head. I knew I felt about Iren as a friend but there was something more, something that I couldn’t understand or just didn’t want to understand. I knew what he felt about me – he just have told me – but know I didn’t know what exactly I felt about him. Gosh, what a crazy night! -You have the most beautiful voice, – I said very quiet. My own was hoarse now. The tears finally stopped but the answer didn’t come. I signed. The moon was shining upon us making me stronger. That reminded me of his help and the situation in which we met just half an hour or so ago. How much changed during this short period of time. In me anyway…
Wanderer: He hoped that she will try not to be afraid of people so much. At least of him... Why? John couldn't realise why he is so calm and patient in attention to her, why have told her about himself so much when he have met her only second time for all the years he lived on this earth. Weird. Is it just a great trust or something quite different? All that unhappy story with Japan ended up long time ago, they have returned back to New-York, but he still remember everything just as like it was yesterday. Yes, he saved her. But later. Just as she saved him before then... Involuntarily Wanderer smiled while he was singing the song that he have chosen. Funny, but the author of it called with the same name as Nickie is... Maybe, he shoud tell it to her? Still he believed that she can at least smile because of such a coincidence. Why not? And, actually, why it? But not some other song? Maybe because of what about it is... but even through it is about the very kind feeling called friendship Raven suddenly felt that somewhere he wasn't very honest. He really thought about her like about a friend. A very close friend. But he was sure that there was definedly something else, something warm, secretive and uncertain that he never felt before. Or felt, but very, very long time ago and now have forgot it completely... But it feels like he was remembering it... again, from new. So how much fellow was shocked when he suddenly understood that Nickie is crying. Really crying. He didn't wait for a reaction like this so now didn't know how to behave, what he should say, what he should do. As like if he lost himself for a moment - because of confusion. Yeah, great: tried to do something better but it turned out just like always... 'Nickie?,' - he asked in a worried voice, looking at her. 'Hey..?' And she just hugged him, and after then lied down on his knees, continuing to cry. Iran felt that he's face is burning and slowly becoming red. Oh, God, can you answer on this question? Who can understand girls, can you tell it to him? Especially when this one is completely not like all other girls? One in all world and, maybe, the only one real... John felt that something painfully pricked in the heart. Sadeness. Worries about her which were only getting stronger and clearer with the time running. What is she doing? Norvilt got used to live in the evil world and never knew what it means to have someone... Raven remembered Maxima and sighed. She really haven't had anyone before that meeting?.. No one, never? It looks like he started to understand what she's got throught only now... thru the Real Hell... 'Don't cry, Nickie...', he hoarse whispered and carefully wiped away tears from her cheek with his hand. Hard to talk by an unknown reason. She was trying not to look at him and not to pay attention on that he is attentively looking at her. John kindly smiled. Still she was very beautiful and nice... even if she isn't realising this. He quietly added, 'you're really not alone anymore...' 'You have the most beautiful voice,' she said very quiet. 'Heh.. thanks..', John felt that he becoming red as a cancer again. But not only because of that. It's weird to understand that this human mean something more than just a friend and only a few moments ago she was in a real danger. He really was worried. Still.'How do you feel?' More about some other, but oh well... Iran carefully and softly stroked her with his hand from head to the edges of her long hair. Why she just can't look at him?.. 'Angel...' Yeah, it feels so weird to see the same character in deleted ones when he still is here, staying well and alive just as always was... xD And sorry for so long waiting, Honey... I had an art-block and then I got something close to inspire-block, too... x_x
Star Dust: Not alone… Is it good or bad? Good, I guess… But, still, not for me. Who am I deceiving? What am I doing? I allowed myself to forget who I was and what I am. My friendship can bring only pain, my sympathy can give only suffer. I do not wish neither of that to John but he… I am not a fool. He acts as if he likes me, as if I am a nice person which I am not. I can lie to myself but I’m not allowed to deceive Iran. No, anyone but him! I like him, I believe. What other reason here can be if I am lying on his knees, allowing him to touch me, do not minding him running his hand over my hair. I cried in front of him! This can tell a lot to someone who knows me well enough. - I’m perfect, don’t worry, –I answered quietly, my gaze was still into the sky not in his face. - Would you lay down near me, please? – I asked suddenly. I knew what time it was but it didn’t bother me until I thought of Raven. I got used to live like this: my powers are directly connected with full moon night or any other night so mostly I prefer to sleep during the day. Actually it was John of who I was worried about. I am more than sure that he lives as a normal human suppose to live and that includes the sleep too. And he lost a lot of blood because of my stupidity so he needs a rest. And at the same time I wanted him to stay although I knew that it’s not the best for him. I acted selfish again… That was the simple circle of my thoughts. I sat down to free his knees so he would be able to lie beside. As he did so I lied down near him still looking into the sky. Now I had no idea what to say. I wanted to look at him very much, I cannot even explain how valuable that wish was – I could not refuse it, no more. I took a deep breath. I was afraid that if will look at Iran I will lose the control over myself as I have just a couple of minutes ago. Finally I turned my head to find his face at the same level of mine. I didn’t want to worry him so I tried to smile. I have no idea how ugly my smile was but I hoped that John will not run away, or in his case, fly away in horror. I have lost the count of time… All this time I kept silent and lied still, watching his face. I wanted John to have rest but now as I kept looking into his eyes I felt that I myself was really tired. It was as if my eyelids were filled with lead. I lost the moment when I fall asleep… I woke up because of the heat. I felt extremely hot and something else that I didn’t recognize at the beginning. I opened my eyes to find my face pretty close to Iran’s. John’s eyes were closed. Strange… I felt cold although my skin was still burning under the rare flash of moon light. I have already got used to the crystal blue of his eyes, it seemed to me that I even dreamed about it, and now without his gaze I felt empty. This is no good… He sighed, his breathe was calm and measured. The answer suddenly came to me: he was asleep! Looks like I got what I wanted and now he can relax and have some rest. But there were two more questions: what else did I miss and why am I so close to him and my arms so tied? I looked down and my mouth opened in a great shock. John was hugging me! This is terrible… I didn’t want to hurt him but I couldn’t stand this hug. Not physically of course but ethical. It’s just that no one had ever given me a hug and I was a little afraid to let someone disturb my personal space… I tried to concentrate on the innocence of his actions to find a worthy explanation not to punch him: first, he is my good friend. Second, I suppose he was just cold in the night air and my skin was burning so he decided to connect pleasurable and useful. Wait, what pleasurable?! No, no, no! No! No and no again! This is bad, very bad and dangerous. He might get used to me, he might feel sympathy for such a pathetic creature as me. I cannot even imagine what can happen then! I must stop him from the biggest mistake of his life, I must leave him and never appear again because every time I appear I bring rudeness and hateness with me. John’s soul is too pure to suffer. Mine worth nothing, his – all. I tried to escape his hug. Gently I pulled his hand off my waste tried not to get mad with this fact. It made me even more worried: I am not supposed to be nice! No one, especially John, for whom I have such a great respect, can like me! How can this happen? No, I must leave immediately… But it was very hard to do. I sat on my knees beside sleeping John and looked at him with all the softness that I had. I am doing this for you Iran. You should find yourself a nice girlfriend, gentle, beautiful and polite so there is no place for me in your life. - I like you. You are kind, soft, cute, gentle and brave. You do not deserve the suffer which I have brought. God bless you, my dear friend, I hope you shall never see me again, – I whispered. As I blinked a lonely tear felt down my cheek. I bended to his face and softly touched his cheek with my lips. He was still asleep – that’s even better. As I rose my body began to vary changing into dazzling particles. It was the dawn when I disappeared as I thought forever…
Wanderer: Even if she used to be alone, why she acts like that now? She's afraid to change? Even when John couldn't see what she is thinking about, he could know what she's feeling. Sometimes he liked this part of his abilities but anyway it was like a curse. He didn't want to know all that - it is like something very unfair, when you just get into someone's inner world. And now... she said that she is alright but still didn't want to look at him. Still she was closed in herself and didn't want to face the truth, knowing that Iran anyway see it right now. Raven was quite unsure in that just a friend will lay on his knees and allow him to carefully caressing her. But John just couldn't do anything with himself - he wanted to caml her down, to make her feel in safe and believe that not all people are bad... and now she looked cute. No more careless, conflict and selfish Nicole was seeing here now, only that someone who she was hiding deep inside all this time... 'Would you lay down near me, please?' Wanderer looked at the girl with huge blue and quite surprised eyes. He waited for something, but not for a question like that. Lay down, near her, on the roof of the skyscraper right after rain? Looks like he really will never completely understand this girl and her way of thinking. She aren't afraid to get a cold or something worse?.. But in other side... Weird, but since they came here Raven haven't felt neither night coldness, nor after-rain wetness. Only soft warmness if not pay attention on the weak wind. Iran for the short second opened his mouth - and he haven't noticed this at all? It looks like he's getting only more and more inattentiveness... or there just was something else to pay main attention on? Only now he have noticed that Nickie glows a little... just like little Moon in the sky. Maybe, all this warm is comming from her? Without any questions and 'left' thoughts, when Nickie sat aside, he lied down looking at her and how she lieds near him. She was still looking at the sky and not at him. Well... fellow was sure, that after some time she will. She can't act like that all the night and she very well know it by herself... As about John, he was a very patient one and also not always was in a sleepy mood at this time when all the normal people, surely, sleeps and sees the fift dream - in any case one after another. He was just an owl almost all his life longht and were times when he was going to sleep only when the clock was showing a hours of the morning and the sun has rose up long time ago. Not always, but... from time to time. He got used to live like this... Looks like that Nickie was living like this too... She finally turned to him and smiled. Smiled timidly and uncertainly, but kindly... 'You have the most beautiful smile I ever saw...', Iran quetly whispered and also smiled. What she is doing all this for? Time was running further but both of them just lied and looked on each other. Her silver eyes even with their color were warm. There was no cruel signs in them, but mostly only pain and uncertainly. Fear. Suddenly he felt like he want to find all these people who harmed her so much, and speak with them very seriously, face to face. To open their eyes on what they've done... they've nearly killed an Angel... After some time Nickie fell asleep. John looked after her some time, scrutinized in her face. With closed eyes and such a pacified expression she was a cutie. Nick caught himself on thought that he really likes her. And even not because of her beauty, but more because of herself... Now she looked to him completely different from the 'always-mad-on-everything' girl he first met. She just had a reasons... Fellow gently stroked her arm and moved a little closer, just to hug her and to cover with the wing. Earlier he haven't felt any sleepeness but just take a look on the sweety sleeping Nickie and you'll want to fall asleep too. It seems like from now on it is a rule... John closed his eyes, thinking about the past. About now and future... they'll stay good friends or from morning she'll remember the old her? He wanted her to return in X-Team... After some time he forgot himself... He still couldn't understand why he have woke up. Or better yet, because what of. Maybe because of Nicole's whispering, maybe because of her kiss... but all what he saw when he opened his eyes was the swarm of tiny particles, which were flying away and shining in the bright light of the morning sun. Iran had just a second to understand what is happening and to react somehow. When he understood, it was much better than any alarm clock to wake him up completely. 'Nick, wa... wait, Starrie! Nickie!!!', he in one moment rose up but particles like a little shining silver-golden cloud were far away already. 'Come back...' 'Please...' But, no... she has chosed to escape. Suddenly Iran felt that something inside fell and sadly broken into pieces. He don't know even how and where he can find her... Fellow took a deep breath and turned around. Time to think how to get down, on the ground. He already at the night didn't feel any pain in the arm and shoulder and now he could even completely forget about it, if not only a dry blood on the clothers. Now he was just filled with one and only heavy emptiness. Believed in her, but knowing her character he was dead sure that she will never come back... When I look at you I realise There comes a time in someone's life When you find things that matter And every time we touch The love runs deep We realize it's our to keep And that's all that really matters. You'll always be my sweet addiction In this life my saving grace Girl you're all that really matters You know it's true Ain't no me without you... When you're in the dark Baby don't despair I'm just a spark away I will be there And that's all that really matters... You'll always be my sweet addiction In this life my saving grace Girl you're all that really matters You know it's true Ain't no me without you... We'll share our lives together Yes our flame burns on forever And at the final curtain call We can say we did it all You'll always be my sweet addiction In this life my saving grace Girl you're all that really matters You know it's true Ain't no me without you... And when we turns to dust And we fly away There'll be a light still burning bright And that's all that really matters... After this meeting Raven, helping his friends, got into serious troubles and nearly perished, but in the last moment was saved by Star Dust who got a message from Phoenix and decided to return... Also it is the first finished game on English at this roleplay. =) *are proud of it*
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